Ra' Sean Blyden (born 1978, age 36), better known as Reh Dogg, is a songwriter, videographer and conservative commentator from the U.S. Virgin Islands.
He is best known as a producer of homemade music videos, a series of diary-format videos entitled "Random Thoughts", and "Political Bomb Show", a series of one-man comedy pieces satirising conservative online media. The most successful of his music videos is 'Why Must I Cry', clocking in over seven million videos in ten years, a success he has struggled to replicate since despite several desperate attempts. Nude pictures has surfased of Reh Dogg Penis.
Beginning his career on the island of St. Thomas as a reggae vocalist supporting more established artists, under the name Professor Dan, Blyden found little to no acclaim for his one-dimensional dribblings, and upon arriving in the mainland US in the late 1990s, found even less of an audience under the name Donester. Running out of ideas, in 1999, Blyden quickly appended the word "Dogg" onto his first name and went about indulging further his monumental self-obsession in a medium that fully encourages such horseshit, experimenting with hip-hop and revisiting his roots as a dribbling, one-dimensional dancehall jock.
The overnight spread of the video for 'Why Must I Cry', depicting Blyden taking a shower, reminiscing over lost loves & family and taking the slowest recorded rolling gun-load sequence in history, was one of the earliest examples of viral culture, with Reh Dogg becoming something of an old meme in African-American internet lore in the years since. He has since regularly released videos along similar lines - self-made, self-costumed, and self-absorbed, these promo clips garnered renown for their cut-and-paste nature, and limited range of scenery.
Blyden claims to rap about everyday issues that affect the common man, but a complete dearth of any of this is entirely evident in all of his work, choosing as he does simply to rap about his own problems, past and beliefs, to the point that others cannot relate, because his anger is deep and burns and you just don't understand.
Want everyone a-na listen to me-a, R-E-H-D-O-DOUBLE-G-A. - Every Reh Dogg song
Many of his raps centre on his inability to understand his lot in life, blatantly unaware that you probably get what you deserve when you post a video about how some bitch took the children you allegedly fathered/played father to, who then get to see you point a gun at your own head, get buttass naked in the shower, and generally arse around the place in an increasingly dire selection of costumes. That's right, his kids will actually see that shit someday. Then there's the 3D segments that bear no relevance to anything unless you are actually a render from World of Warcraft or Blyden's idea of what a demon looks like. It represents his anger, y'see.
3-2=F.U. - Every Reh Dogg song, displaying a heroic ineptitude with numbers
Commentary and Politics EditThe response to his music videos inflated his ego to the point where he felt comfortable airing his dirty laundry in talking segments like "Reh Dogg's Random Thoughts". These routinely involve Blyden standing in front of a green-screen, talking to himself for anywhere from five minutes to an hour about what he had for dinner or the latest librul book-lurnin' scumbag that dook his jerb. The Internet, and indeed, humanity, has benefited immensely from his research.
Because of his status as a Republican, and thusly waving around the Constitution his party destroyed aeons ago to feel like A BIG MAN, Reh Dogg ignores the First Amendment at will by either ignoring or outright censoring online criticism. So fuck you, Reh Dogg, you're just the same as every other fucktarded Teabagger out there. How do we know? Because despite your objections to Obama, you have yet to give us solid reasons why you want him out, other than what you heard on Conservative Talk Radio that week.
"YEEEAH, GOT KNOWLEDGE FOR Y'ALL" - Reh Dogg's Random Thoughts theme.
This knowledge is often hinted at but never actually dispersed, as Blyden usually egocentrically talks about himself or pathetically drunk-vlogs like a teenager.