DJ Smile (Andrew Hallas Formally Known as Kyle Bruniges Real name confirmed as Michael Bamforth) is an English "rapper" and the self-proclaimed "main-man of Huddersfield" from which he hails. Despite his stage name, he is not much of a DJ. His rapping has received various reactions from YouTube users, both positive and negative. DJ Smile gained fame after his first single, "Fuck The Tile", which brought many native british women to their knees and onto his toss pipe. The British women no longer wanted Brexit, but wanted immigrants such as Smile himself to ravage them. He is also known as the main rabbit dealer in Huddersfield breeding them in their droves to feed his heroin addiction, as he once proclaimed in one of his songs: "I'm the main man who's going to be supplyin' (rabbits) for a while". Also Check out his follow up single 'WOT' DJ Smile is close friends with Markus Da Fireman and up and coming Russo-Romanian rapper Vasily Angelovicolovski. He has also collaborated in videos with Mihai, Joe in a video called ''Atakan's Hair Loss Problems''.
Early Life[]
Very little is known about DJ Smile's childhood, just that he was born in Chișinău, Moldova and his parents sold him to a couple in Huddersfield (for a grand total of £8) when he was three so that they could afford to look after his 21 older silbings, he attended Huddersfield Community Academy for Under Achievers under head teacher Master Bates. Who he despised, because he believes that he was unfairly reprimanded, and shouted at too often. He stated in an interview with the BBC "Master Bates was well bad, he used to make us sit on his knee while he spanked our bare bottoms". in comprehensive school he had a teacher called paul franklyn, paul franklyn taught him how to rap and how to become a real man
His adoptive step-father Peter File fought for the British in the Second World War, but after realising that their position was going to be taken by German forces, he deserted and joined the SS Panzer division and fought for the Germans for the Remainder of the war. After the end of the war King returned to the UK under the pretense that he had been held as a prisoner of war in Auschwitz, his story made headline news, Conservative Party leader and current Prime Minister David Cameron has vowed to deport King to Germany, however the home office has not taken any action and declines to comment any further on the situation. He is described by thr BBC as "the man who will do the f***ing mile".
HE is rumoured to be related to darren churchill, a descendant of the popular peadophile named winston churchill.
he is the king of YBC . he is a nonce, fuck the tile
Appearance, attire and Size of Genitalia[]
DJ Smile's looks have been described as a cross between Barry Chuckle and Remy from the Disney Pixar film, Ratatouille. It is also suspected that he takes heroin, though fans who claim to know him have said he is "a user, not an abuser". - He's gonna be supplyin' for a while
He has been seen in some videos wearing a black shirt that reads "F*CK THE TILE" which is a lyric from his most popular freestyle, which can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7WdvzITaLk
He has also been seen wearing an oversized coat with a smiley face on the back, with his stage name displayed above. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMaX5_2M9EA
It is widely known that DJ Smile has 'The biggest dick in the H-U Udersfield' this is where he aquired his nick-name 'The Main Man', as it is quite clearly not referencing his rapping skills
Rarely seen during the day, Smile lives his best life from 1am- 3am, often partaking in paraphernalia (usually black tar heroin). Prophesied to be the "Dark Knight" of Huddersfield, you'll (hopefully not) see that the DJ is far from dark when you consider the pure glowstick fluid that courses through his veins.
Lyrical content[]
He is shit. Very shit. Ecstasy place to be. Lickin that flan, in the white van. "Lyrical Genius." Brudyr is big as Uranus, What is dj smile? UP IN UR ANUS. This boi be gettin' all the minge. He is facking ace. DJ Smile is known for rapping about his daily life and struggles, the line "gonna be supplyin' for a while" references his job where he sells rabbits to feed his ever growing heroin addiction. He references the mean streets of Huddersfield in the United Kingdom also, when he says "kick the little face... cos they're not ace" refers to the widespread child (sex) abuse in the area.
Dj Smile was exposed to horrific child abuse at an early age, his father would often get "the cane" he believes this early traumatic experience drove him to take up heroin as a way of getting past the mental anguish caused by what he saw, and started his burgeoning heroin addiction, and also triggered his violent hatred of children, who he refers to as "'orrible little alien things". He can also be occasionally seen snorting cocaine off the bottoms of pale, pasty Englishwomen, who offer their bottoms as a gift to various foreigners such as the gifted DJ Smile.
CalPlaysHD is his biggest fan Oink Oink Mrs. Piggy
Legacy[]
Currently he has nothing going for him aside from a bit of YouTube recognition, but in due time, his voice shall be heard, and before we know it, we'll all be licking the flan from the white van, kicking the little faces, taking Es in the place, fucking the tile and doing that fuckin mile. You know what I mean. The world will hear the unquenchable talent that is, Dj smile, the hardest man in hudlesfield is coming for you, so hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Dj smile is the product of a broken home. His upbringing mainly consisted of cold spagetti hoops on bread. This nutritious diet forced him into the industry of prostitution, he would sell his body by night and by day craft his sick rhymes, (with the help of his governmental benefits). His troubled past guided Dj smile into the industry of drugs. In the past smile has been described as "as user not an abuser". His right hand man is no other than the king of the mandingos, Ainsley Harriot. Smile and Haricot have been spotted outside of comunity centers across the UK sharing their rhymes. Shattering peoples very soul with their tasty rhymes (and penises). In 2002 Haricot and Smile were arested on suspicion of child slavery. This claim was later found to be false, and all claims were droped on the dynamic duo. This close call caused Smile and Haricot to break up for a year. However in late 2001 the duo re-established themselves in the town of Hudlesfield, proclaimiing themselves as the hardest man in huddlesfield. SAFE TO BE ECSTACY. Yo lit af
Olympic Participation[]
DJ Smile participated in the 2012 Olympics, competing for Somalia through one of his various uncles. DJ Smile is the first racewalker to compete for Somalia in the country's history. Smile did not qualify for the 50km main event but placed 214th out of 250 in the qualifying races.
However, smile qualified for, and won the new and controversial sport called, "tea and biscuits". This sport is played by the sportsman luring in Englishmen, who are usually suckers for tea and biscuits. Once the bait has been caught, the sportsman must quickly chop the Englishmans head off with a steel, sharp disk. The player who gives the cleanest and fastest cut wins.
Tom Haffield loves to swim in dj smiles pool of sper...glowsticks
Political Beliefs[]
DJ Smile is a prominent Marxist-Leninist-Maoist left-wing supporter who is pro-socialism. Smile is an outspoken critic of the current Conservative government, branding them as the "bloody Tories" and has blamed them for the UK's societal and economic problems. He has also heavily criticised the Conservative leader and Prime Minister David Cameron, calling him a "posh prick" and telling him to "fuck off back to Eton".
Proactivity[]
The man is still known to wander around an area called Newsome (presumed to be where he lives) quite regularly. He often sits on street steps looking absolutely plastered off various concoctions of what can only be described as 'off-your-tits medicine'. His mouth will often be foaming as he stares at you - whilst potentially asking for some change and requesting if you have heard of the name 'DJ Smile'. He does not seem to be of any harm, but perhaps the YouTube fame of this strange person has gotten to his head. You will also see him walk in the middle of busy roads around Huddersfield for no apparent reason now and again.
DJ Smile is controversial as many people believe he is not deserving of his fame, as many believe that he does not possess true talent, and that the meida attention he has been getting lately is wasted on his talentless self, but this is an extremist view that only a very small proportion of the population share. He has begun selling branded t-shirts at an extortionate price
He was also a founding member of "The Islam League Element" (T.I.L.E)" a football league created to support young islamists children and parents. But after being disavowed from the group in 2009 for unknown reasons, he grew great distaste for the cause and stated in one of his songs "Fuck the Tile", which then lead to him adopting it as his catchphrase. After the football games he kidnaped the kids and sent them of to fight for Isis when the Cia asked him about this he said I didn't do nuthin
DJ Smile can usually be found at the Buckingham Palace, where he feeds the Queen's fetishes of immigrant feces. He can also be found urinating on the grave of Winston Churchill, former pedophile of England.
Arrest[]
DJ Smile was arrested on the 28th of January 2014 because it was discovered that the conditions on his rabbit farm were below the standards imposed by the RSPCA, and also because he would kill the rabbits that did not breed, claiming that they were gay and abominations to the laws of nature, as they were not willing to procreate. Also he stated "I ain't got no time for gay rabbits", claiming that being a "poof" should be outlawed. DJ smile was bailed out by his fans who started a kickstarter project to raise the £100 needed for his release. He was arrested again on January 21st 2016 , he had been caught making children drink glowsticks , they took him to court and he pleaded not guilty and accused Tom Haffield the swimmer of being the actual criminal , DJ smile got away and Tom was arrested for 8 years . Smile was arrested for lunging at one of his fan
New Years Eve incident[]
On new years eve 2013 at around 11:47pm DeRover was travelling with his usual entourage of crackhead Huddersfielders to the local Disco Inferno when a rival group called him out, Smile details that they were hurling abuse at him and his crew such as "come and fight you pussy, i'll show you who's the main man in da focking place". Smile went on to brutally assault 4 of the 10 rival gang members with a 9' Shank that he sharpened himself, the victims were left with gashes along their arms and chest as well as bruises on their heads.
Neo-Nazism[]
DJ Smile is also a prominent neo-nazi, who believes all Gays, Jews and Muslims should be exterminated. When police raided his house in search of evidence of his rabbit breeding operations, they found multiple swastikas on the walls and a shrine to Adolf Hitler and an encased first edition copy of Mein Kampf. He was caught in his garden in a Full Nazi officer uniform chanting Heil Mein Fuher ,when asked why he was doing it he replied , "I will kick your little face"
Smile has dismissed these allegations stating "I din't do nuthin' (sic), I love all people wether they be Jewish, Jesus, or Paki, even them gays that like takin' it up the back passage
===Hobbies===
Dj smile goes on a bender and a sex spree on the weekend when he is high from drinking glow sticks he mostly goes to his local Tesco's at 1am to 3am to have sex with hookers
Irony[]
DJ smile is an ironic name, as he is not actually a DJ, a more appropriate term would MC, and also since his crack cocaine habit has left him with virtually no teeth, just black stumps which he likes to flash at the police when he gets the chance.